Second Class Cinema: The B-Movie Experience

Episode 106: New York Ninja (1984/2021)

Hello again!

We’re back with Erik’s pick this week, and we’re watching Vinegar Syndrome’s passion project, New York Ninja. This film was shot in 1984, and wasn’t completed until 2021. In the episode we dive into the interesting history behind this film, and the modern creation and resurrection of this lost gem. 

 

There’s a gang of thugs roaming the New York streets, quietly abducting women and selling them into international sex slavery. The ringleader of this operation is a maniacal murderer- ‘the Plutonium Killer’- and he has some VERY unusual abilities thanks to past radiation exposure via secret government experiments. If this sounds like a lot… it’s because it is. 

 

While witnessing one of the women being abducted on the streets, Nita Liu tries to interfere and is ultimately killed by the ruthless gang. After learning of the murder of his wife and unborn child, John becomes a vigilante in pursuit of justice and revenge.

After being thrust into the public eye by a local news crew, the masses dub John the “New York Ninja” and champion his vigilantism. His transformation into a folk hero is juxtaposed with severe disapproval by local law enforcement, who seem more intent on stopping John than making the gang of thugs pay for their crimes.

 

Will justice prevail? Will John take down this international crime cabal? Will we ever make sense of why the Plutonium Killer can inexplicably turn into other people? Join us on this episode to find out!

Episode 105: The Hard Way (1989)

Let me tell you something… 

This week we watched The Hard Way from 1989, aka Hard Bull, aka Columbian Connection, aka La Via Della Droga. It was Brittany’s pick, and chosen as another step towards our goal of watching as many Miles O’Keeffe movies as possible.

In The Hard Way, we follow a small special forces group (lead by O’Keeffe’s “Bull”) who are dropped into the Amazonian jungle in pursuit of a ruthless drug lord. With the local government unwilling to extradite the cartel leader, the US sees no other path to justice- they handpick 3 operatives to track the cartel, extricate the leader, and transport him back to the US to face charges for his crimes. Needless to say, things don’t go as planned, and the group finds themselves wildly outnumbered and fighting their way to the base of the cartel’s operations.
Can Bull & co. beat the odds, survive the jungle, and bring their prisoner back to face justice? Or will the cartel have the last laugh?

We discuss the paper thin plot of this film, the absurd amount of shots fired, and the subpar miniatures of exploding helicopters. Enjoy!

Episode 104: Armstrong (1998)

Hello again from the realm of subpar cinema! 

 

In case we didn’t mention it before, we are REALLY glad to be back. This episode is the first new one we’ve recorded in SIX YEARS… So please be kind as we attempt to rewind, and remember how to do this goddamn thing. 

 

Second Class Citizens, join us - if you would - on a top secret mission to Russia.

We’re tagging along with Frank Zagarino and Charles Napier this week, to investigate the suspicious transport of nuclear missiles in the 1998 action flick, Armstrong.

When CIA agent Bob Zorkin and his wife, Susan, travel to Russia to investigate the disappearance of nuclear missiles, he runs into old friend and undercover agent Rod Armstrong.

Convening at Zorkin’s apartment to discuss the whereabouts of the missing nukes, they get into a shootout with Russian goons. Armstrong barely escapes, and Zorkin is killed. Now Armstrong and Susan must team up and locate the nukes before the Russians use them.

Can they get justice for Bob, AND stop the Russians before doomsday?

 

Tune in to this week’s episode to hear us discuss that and other far less relevant topics like wet tshirts, ponytails, and why Charles Napier was so goddamn sweaty in this movie.

Episode 103 - Phantom Raiders (1988)

Hello from the past!

From both 1988 when this movie came out, and from 2017 when we recorded this episode.
Let us not dwell on our extended absence (it’s boring, I promise).

… Because we’re back! The serendipitous discovery of an incredible looking movie (which we cover on next week’s episode) propelled us into dusting off the ol’ mixer, overcoming a dozen tech issues, and recording a brand spanking new episode for your ear holes. But first, enjoy this discussion about the 1988 Namsploitation flick, Phantom Raiders.

 

When the CIA learns that deep in the Vietnamese jungle, ex-Green Beret Colonel William Marshall is running a terrorist training camp for the Vietcong, they must act quickly to remove him from the situation… by any means necessary.

A rag-tag group of commandos led by general badass Python Lang (played by Miles O’Keeffe), and including Marshall’s own son, Howard, set off into the jungle. Their mission is to reason with Colonel Marshall and prevent him from further assisting the Vietcong. If he refuses, the group is tasked to take him out.

Will Howard be able to finally face down his father to save countless lives? Or will the task prove too much for a loving son?

Join us as we discuss the differences between balaclavas and baclava, gunfire as ambient noise, and ponder with us about why the HELL Miles O’Keeffe wasn’t in a hundred bigger and better movies than this in his heyday. 

 

It’s good to be back. 

Episode 102 - .com For Murder

So, uh… we’re back?

After an extremely impromptu, year-long break- which was filled with a multitude of inconvenient life dookie we won’t bore you all with- we decided it’s the right time to dive back into SCC. HOW WE’VE MISSED YOU ALL. We’ve got a few episodes banked, one of which we will share with you today!

Our good friend Fallon joined us for this episode - exactly a year ago today - and it’s been waiting to see the light of day ever since. We watched the sad,misguided, hypothesis of our internet future… also known as the 2002 murder flick, .com for Murder. 

Sondra is wheelchair-bound after a skiiing accident, and is recovering at the high-tech home of her boyfriend (unnecessarily played by Roger Daltrey). Bored and on the mend, she’s joined by her sister, Misty as she logs into American Love Online- pretending to be her boyfriend and chatting up his various contacts. After witnessing a live-feed of a murder in one of the chats, they enlist the help of FBI agent Matheson (played even more unnecessarily by Huey Lewis) to track down the killer. But after a while, Sondra and Misty start to suspect they might be the ones in danger…

Listen up as we reflect on the good ol’ days when Spencer’s Gifts could meet all your rubber fetus needs, and every chat room was filled with 14 year old females from Cali.
We’re back bitches!

Episode 101 - Welcome to Planet Earth (1996)

WELCOME TA EARF!

We were joined this week by our good friend (and local comic), Rob Pierce! He graced us- not only with his presence- but with a truly enjoyable second-class gem: Welcome to Planet Earth.

Our story begins with Joseph! Having just inherited his deceased mother’s boarding house in a dangerous urban neighborhood, he’s short on cash and desperate to find some tenants as soon as possible. Lucky for him, that very evening Charlie, Rhonda and their daughter Daphne show up on his doorstep- looking like they just stepped out of a Normal Rockwell painting, and needing a place to rent. At first it seems too good to be true, rich white folks with money to burn, who are all too pleased that Joseph wants to bang their daughter. But are they what they seem? Or are they aliens vacationing on Earth, here to take in all the sights and vigilante justice the inner-city has to offer? Only time will tell!

Welcome to Planet Earth stars George Wendt and Shanna Reed, and is truly a bizarre and unique film. We discuss this movie’s oddly adept social commentary and clever dialogue, the sexiness of violent women, and why Joseph’s mom loves singing in the graveyard. Listen up!

COMMENTARY 01: Horror House on Highway Five (1985)

Heyo! Download this commentary track and sync it up with the 1985 film Horror House on Highway Five. If you'd like to follow along with the sharp looking bluray WE have you can purchase it here: https://vinegarsyndrome.com/shop/horror-house-on-highway-5/

Episode 100 - Horror House on Highway Five (1985)

Hot damn y'all, it's our 100th Episode!

Thanks to all of you who have somehow stumbled upon us and continue to listen to our ridiculous banter. We’re so happy other people love these misfit films and want to celebrate them the same way we do- in a mockingly critical and often obnoxious manner. Especially when we’ve dropped off the earth for a while due to life, and you all still hit us up with new film recommendations and discussions on older episodes. We know we've been gone for a while, thanks for not making it weird. Also, thanks to all our friends, on this episode and every other, who are always down to watch bad movies and share their love and knowledge of trash cinema with us. We love you all.

For this super special occasion, we were joined by not one, not, two, not, three, but FOUR friends from previous episodes who came over to watch this flick with us… and for the first time ever we recorded a commentary during the movie! Tyler, Fallon, Gray and Aaron all came by to watch the newly restored  Horror House on Highway Five, which we recently purchased from Vinegar Sydrome (you can purchase it here if you want to watch along with the commentary, or just in general: https://vinegarsyndrome.com/shop/horror-house-on-highway-5/ ). It was interesting, to say the least.

The synopsis of this film would tell you that it's about a crazed psychopath who stalks the streets, wearing a Richard Nixon mask, murdering helpless victims… but is it really? We had a lot of fun trying to break down the various threads of story in this film, which weren't always coherent… But hey, this is the second movie we watched recently that’s featured random Nazi -occult subplots! Also, ferns!

Enjoy!

Bonus Episode 6: Elves (1989)

 IT'S A CHRISTMAS EVE BONUS EPISODE YAAAAAY! Bad Movie Sunday recently watched this movie and had recommended we do the same to fulfill out yuletide obligations of bad so we went ahead and watched the 1989 holidy horror movie Elves. Episode 100 is just aroud the corner so please reach out to us with thoughts of what to watch or even some fun stuff to read on the air. @2ndclasspodcast on Twitter, SecondClassCinema on instagram and email us at secondclasscinema@gmail.com.  

Episode 99 - Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer (2000)

DON'T TELL GRANDMA SHE'S A REINDEER! Or something like that. It's Christmas time in the city and we watched Tom's pick this week, the 2000 animated special Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer. History repeated itself with how we got to this movie and we're pretty glad it did I think.